My holiday wishes were simple—“The Alien Anthology” on Blu-ray, and a new lamp for my reading nook. Mm, not just any lamp. Oh no. Perhaps a lamp with a shade fashioned from faux human skin, and maybe, just maybe, adorned with skulls.
My disappointment on Christmas Day was palpable. Inconceivable though it may seem, neither item was slipped into my stocking nor deposited under my tree. Dear reader, what happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore—and then run? Sure, if you’re a self-pitying sad sack.
The only thing running on December 26th was me—to the Best Buy straightaway! Overpriced Blu-ray sets are easy to come by, providing you’re willing to wait in a 60 minute Boxing Day queue. And I was.
But what of the lamp? Can such a thing be found in one’s local curio shoppe or outsider art odditorium? Indeed, it can. Fortunately, I wandered into the Hyaena Gallery in Burbank, and discovered the flesh beacon that had been kick-lining in my head alongside some sugar plums.
Let this be a lesson to us all: dreams will come true in 2011, but perhaps only with a little inspired action on your part. Let’s make it happen.
I am so enamored by my new lamp that I couldn’t help but do a little set decorating and snap a few Glamour Shots. If you look closely, you can catch the skulls silently mouthing the word “prune”, a little photo shoot trick they picked up from the Olsen twins. What showboats. The end product is below.
Unreliable Narrator 