On Friday, September 24, a new era of darkness was ushered in at Universal Studios Orlando’s Halloween Horror Nights.
I know what you’re thinking—isn’t a new era of darkness ushered in every year? Well, yes, but see if you can wrap your head around this. It seems as though the events of Horror Nights past overseen by up-to-no-good rascals like Jack, The Caretaker, and The Director, have been nothing more than a prologue for the mayhem that is to come. Now, as the 20th Anniversary of Halloween Horror Nights dawns, Fear itself (or himself) has emerged from the shadows to reveal that prior icons were nothing more than pathetic lap dogs attending to his every whim. Yep, Fear has been the brains of this operation from the get- go.
Is your mind suitably blown?
And just in case you’re wondering, Fear resembles a beefy winged demon lumbering around awkwardly on stilts as park guests gesture wildly in an effort to get his attention for photos. Being an evil puppet master isn’t as glamorous as one might assume.
Halloween Horror Nights XX offers up 8 haunted houses and a variety of scare zones all designed to tingle the spine and send you running to the nearest booth marked BAR for a shot of liquid courage. While Hollywood’s West Coast counterpart is as dry as Freddy Krueger’s t-zone, Universal Orlando has opted to throw caution to the wind and embrace a decidedly more party-like atmosphere. Think Vegas with boo holes as increasingly enthusiastic guests wander the streets with illuminated souvenir cups lodged firmly in hand.
While Horror Nights Hollywood differentiates itself by focusing on mazes inspired by well-known horror films, Orlando tends to shy away from utilizing licensed properties as fans have come to expect a new lineup of original mazes every year. Of course, each approach comes with its own set of advantages and drawbacks, but it all may simply come down to a matter of taste. For horror buffs, there’s nothing more gratifying than coming face-to-face with iconic characters and finding oneself immersed in familiar scenes which have been meticulously recreated as walk-through attractions. On the other hand, basing mazes on original concepts allows for more creative freedom and the opportunity to develop characters and back stories which can be woven into the overarching mythology of the event. Horror Nights in Orlando has done just that with houses like “The Orfanage: Ashes to Ashes” featuring Cindy, The Caretaker’s adopted daughter, as well as “Psychoscareapy: Echoes of Shadybrook”, the newest incarnation of a fan favorite asylum-themed maze returning to the event for the fourth time this year.
One of the challenges inherent to designing a house or scare zone based on an original concept is telling a story which is accessible to casual fans whose experience is limited to simply walking through the attraction with no frame of reference. However, the concept must also be sufficiently fleshed out and sophisticated enough to warrant further investigation by hardcore fans who find their experience enriched by the opportunity to familiarize themselves with a detailed back story. Case in point, a steampunk inspired scare zone entitled “Saws and Steam” which is described as follows:
Enormous trenches beneath the earth’s crust have opened beneath its vast oceans, exposing them to intense heat. Steam power is essential to the inhabitants of New Yorkshire, but diminishing oceans have put the city in jeopardy, forcing the citizens to evil lengths. Beware upon entering the city, as the water in your body is now a coveted resource. And the citizens will stop at nothing to get it.
What?
I’m not entirely sure the term “high concept” applies here, although one might say the setup for “Saws and Steam” is wonderfully absurd and dramatically overwrought to the point of being laughable. It’s difficult to imagine how one could ever hope to put the pieces together after walking through a cramped alley filled with fog and strung with electrical cords and lengths of dryer hose, but if you simply want to satisfy your urge to be menaced by large men with chainsaws this particular scare zone will do nicely. Several park employees regaled me enthusiastically with the back story and seemed hell-bent on convincing me that it would make a terrific movie. I wasn’t entirely on board, but perhaps the terrifying tale of New Yorkshire worked on me subconsciously as I found myself loading up on the event’s trademark blood bag Jell-o shots in an apparent attempt to eradicate all signs of hydration from my body.
“Legendary Truth: The Wyandot Estate” was another highly touted attraction which is being billed as the most technologically advanced house in the park. It seems that Malcolm Wyandot severely overreacted to the stock market crash of 1929 and murdered his wife and 13 party guests who now haunt the estate. The Spirit Seekers, a group of paranormal researchers, have created a machine which attracts spirits and are currently performing an investigation in the house. One can only assume that the Wyandots were entertaining a mime troupe on the night of the murders as the ghosts in question sport white glow-in-the-dark faces and glide around on Heelys while flapping their gloved hands. The house is impeccably designed with a truly impressive façade, but any real scares have been jettisoned in favor of dreamy atmospherics as restless spirits writhe under sheets and appear behind scrims which become transparent when lit from behind.
“Zombiegeddon” and “Havoc: Dogs of War” proved to be the two least memorable houses, both featuring imprisoned monster-men who have escaped their restraints and are now wandering unchecked through their respective industrial complexes. The cast of “Havoc” should all be recognized for their commitment as they have been forced to undergo extreme “Alien3” makeovers, shaving their heads and receiving faux barcode tattoos. Performance-wise they were giving it their all as well, slamming against plexiglass cells and clawing wildly at their would-be prey. The lab testing facility setting does not lend itself to a great deal of variety as guests make their way through endless barren corridors amidst wailing alarms and flashing strobes.
While the idea behind “Catacombs: Black Death Rising” may not be an attention grabber on paper, it emerged as the most effective and entertaining house of the year. The magic began in the queue where I was treated to a slapdash history lesson courtesy of an inebriated armchair scholar who was informing her friends all about the pagans who were buried in French catacombs because they believed in multiple gods. My expectations upon entering the house were non-existent, and I was very pleasantly surprised to find that “Catacombs” expertly established a creeping sense of dread by preying on all of my senses. Placards featuring anecdotal facts about the Black Plague line the entrance which resembles an excavation in progress. Beautifully rendered stone walls house a staggering array of human remains including infant skeletons covered in dust and cobwebs. Work lights flicker eerily overhead, and a stale musky scent fills every inch of the maze. Desiccated corpses lurch from dark corners and thrust their arms violently through burial chambers in the floor.
Even more disturbing are the Plague Doctors whose appearance is historically accurate, but also incredibly unique in terms of what one typically encounters at a haunted attraction. The Doctors are clad in wide-brimmed hats and black overcoats, their faces covered by primitive bird-like gas masks with long beaks. The effect is highly unsettling as the Doctors stare eerily from behind scaffolding or emerge from the walls to a cacophony of wild, choking coughs which the actors trigger via individual foot pedals, allowing for perfectly timed scares.
The finale features a hallway draped in plastic obscuring corpses which have been propped up for display. A high powered fan growls to life periodically, blowing the plastic sheeting into the walkway as a disorienting series of strobes kick in. It’s utter chaos as shrouded ghouls stage a full scale attack and send you fleeing towards the exit. Unfortunately, I overheard several park patrons referring to “Catacombs” as “the lame bird maze”. Well, there’s no accounting for taste.
“Horror Night: The Hallow’d Past” is a best of house featuring memorable scenes and characters from the past twenty years. Guests enter a warehouse stacked to the ceiling with crates displaying props, costumes, and promotional materials before walking through a vortex tunnel which effectively transports them to yester-year. Several icons make an appearance, and fan favorite moments from past houses like “Scary Tales”, “Jack’s Funhouse”, and “Dead Exposure” return for an encore. While the ”best of” nature of the house results in a kind of inconsistent haunt stew experience, there are a number of good scares to be had, and it’s a treat to be able to revisit sequences like the spine removal room from “Body Collectors”.
This year, the creative team made the conscious decision to eliminate “victim” roles from the houses. The result is that there are more monsters aggressively pursuing park guests, and we’re all free from the embarrassment of encountering exhausted scareactors in crooked fright wigs attempting to approximate a look of terror for hours on end.
Halloween Horror Nights is truly a haunt fan’s paradise, and while there are certainly a few misfires, the twentieth year does not disappoint. Remember, this year the thing you most have to fear is Fear. And since this is Orlando, have no fear of ice cold beer. Enjoy.
Unreliable Narrator 